2023 Blogs
Deep Dive
My advice and thoughts on the lifestyle
3/19/23
I want to dig a little deeper into this lifestyle this week for my blog. I want to look at a few areas of the lifestyle and give my take on them. Remember, this is only my take on things and doesn’t mean it is this way for every person or every couple. This is just my perspective that I have reached through talking with many of my lifestyle friends, Twitter posts and media that is out there.
To begin with let’s talk about getting into the lifestyle. Many couples enter this lifestyle by the husband bringing up the idea. He may have brought it up in many different ways, but it was his idea. In most cases, the idea of entering this lifestyle is his fantasy. He has either thought about this for years and watched porn, talked with other men in the lifestyle or just had this overwhelming desire to share his partner with another man. There is nothing wrong with having these thoughts and ideas as a man. You are not a less than or somehow inferior to any other man out there. We all have desires and kinks, this just happens to be yours.
Expressing you wants and desires in the beginning can be really hard. Many times your partner has never even thought about this type of lifestyle. Social programming tells her to be faithful at all times in a marriage. It takes time and patience to move from those mental blocks for her to at least even think about doing any of this. Be patient in the beginning is my advice. Talk about each other’s desires and wants. She may be hesitant at first, especially if you have never talked like this before. Don’t and I repeat don’t bring up the idea of the lifestyle in your first talk. It will be too much to handle and think about. Start with simple things and work your way up. Maybe watch a movie that has some of the ideas you are looking to try. Then touch base afterwards and see if your partner liked anything that they saw. Little things like that can start big conversations.
Now that your partner is starting to get on board with all of this or they are 100% on board, it is time to create your time and place to talk. This should be a place without any distractions. No kids, no work, no cell phones just the two of you. Most important about this is that during the time, there is nothing sexual going on. Each of you should come with a topic to discuss. Some early on topics could be the ideas of rules to follow, what type of partner should you look for, who will do the searching, will this be an FLR style relationship. Many of these talks in the beginning will feel weird but just struggle through it and don’t be afraid to laugh. There will be many funny moments and things that you two will come up with.
Moving on to the next phase in all of this, finding Mr. Right. There really are two options in all of this and they depend on how the previous talks went. Either you are going to look for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now. Mr. Right will be the harder person to find. He will have to meet all of the requirements your partner has. He will be someone that fully understands the lifestyle and is willing to work with the two of you. Especially understanding that this is your first steps into this journey. Now on the other hand you have Mr. Right Now, this will be any guy that fits the basic needs of your partner. Looks, personality, dick size, you name it he has it at least on the outside. He will be someone that has limited knowledge of the lifestyle, but is willing to give it a try with the two of you. Many times, they will not be for having you around when your partner and Mr. Right Now get to play. If that works for you and her, then proceed. If that isn’t something you have agreed upon, then discuss it out. If you are looking to just jump right in and get the first one done and over with, Mr. Right Now could be your best option.
Remember this isn’t a competition and it is all about enjoyment from all people involved. Each guy above will bring something special to the table. Mr. Right Now could if things go well, become Mr. Right. But if he doesn’t, he may just be a one-time thing. It’s hard to build chemistry with that guy, but Mr. Right now will have the time and energy to build that relationship. Where he can fully discover your partner’s needs and wants. As well as meeting yours in the process.
Now for the opposite side of all of this. Entering into this lifestyle will have many ups and downs. There is a lot to discover about yourself and your partner. Hopefully there will be more ups than downs. Here are just a few things to keep in mind when entering into this lifestyle. One, this lifestyle will not fix a broken marriage. Two, this will not turn your partner into a sex craved porn star. Three, things will change during the journey, be ready for it.
I hear a lot of men discuss going into this lifestyle because they think it will fix their marriage. From everything I have learned, this is not the case. This lifestyle will highlight all the good and bad in a marriage. It has the potential to bring the cracks to the surface. It may be a band aid in the start, but over time those issues will have to be addressed. The best advice to help during this is honest communication. Don’t lay blame on either of you for the past. Use it to learn and grow closer. But just entering into this lifestyle will not heal all old wounds. It is up to the two of you to do that. On the other hand, if you already have a very strong relationship, this lifestyle has the potential to bring the two of you even closer. To grow more in love with each other than you ever thought you could.
If your partner wasn’t a sex craved person to begin with, it is doubtful that this lifestyle will get her there. I’m not saying it can’t happen, but it will take time. Remember, she has only been having sex with you for the entirety of your relationship. So, getting her to feel confident in her own skin and being a sexual creature will take time. Build her up, encourage her and work on yourself as well. Make the physical changes that you want a fun and exciting time. Play around with role play in the bedroom. Make your own sex life exciting. But don’t expect your partner to be someone that she isn’t.
The last thing is that during the journey, things will change. She will grow and you will as well. Embrace those changes. This is really all about her sexual empowerment and journey. You are along for the ride. Don’t be the director and script it all out. Let her explore where she wants. Maybe in the beginning you are by her side through every step. Then as she feels comfortable, she may start doing the vetting and reaching out, leaving you to only read text and messages on her terms. She may want to play solo. Discuss how you can still be involved. Will it be getting her outfit ready, pictures, videos or listen over the phone as they play? These are things that in the start may have never been on either of your minds. But things will change, she will grow and you will find out how to support her.
Well, I just wanted to write this blog as I constantly get emails, messages and people reaching out about things to expect as they begin. Remember, each journey is unique. Own your journey with your partner. Grow, explore and love each other deeper than you ever have. Talk about things when it gets tough. Celebrate when things went well.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @chastdub, on IG at goodluckcuck and now on Facebook at Chast Dub.You can also email us at goodluckcuck@goodluckcuck.com
2023 Blogs
Cats out of the Bag
3/6/23
I know for many couples our there, that having the lifestyle a secret is very important. This is because most of the people out there are not open minded enough to just people live the life that they want to live. They fear that this small minded people will be hostile in many different ways and try to hurt them or at least embarrass them in the public eye. Some couples fear that having their lifestyle known by others may jeopardize their jobs, family, and friends. We feel this way even if it isn’t 100% true because of the way society has condemned all people for being sexually free and there true selves.
I personally wonder if those people are really jealous. Are they motivated by there own fear? Are they threatened by others being happy, when they don’t live happy lives? Maybe they are just afraid to be who they really want to be. It could be that they don’t have a partner that they believe wouldn’t be able to understand the desires and needs, so they keep it locked up inside. Trapping themselves into a world that just isn’t happy for them, so if they are not happy, then why should anyone else be?
I know there could also be other reasons why are person wouldn’t be open minded to this lifestyle. Maybe they had parents that are divorced and they know that there was adultery by one or both parents. It could be that they didn’t grow up in a house that talked about sex and different sexual orientations. It could be from past relationships of their own that ended with cheating by the other partner or even their current relationship. All of these can really scare someone and have them strive for the societal norms we have in the world today.
I know that B and I started off this journey with the what if we were ever discovered. What if someone found out that we were living this lifestyle? What would they think about us? What would they say to others? It didn’t take long to realize that we didn’t want to live in the what if world. We didn’t go out and advertise any of this, but we just did the basics of privacy to protect ourselves as much as we could. I think everyone should use common sense no matter what lifestyle you are living.
Now to the title of the blog. The Cat has been let out of the Bag. It was just about a week ago that I had found out that B had told one of our best female friends about our lifestyle. Actually, I found out that B had told her over a month ago on a night out drinking with the crew. B took our friend into the bathroom of the bar and spilled the beans. Now this friend isn’t judgmental at all, but at the time and place, they really didn’t get to finish the full conversation.
That happened a little over a week ago. We were all supporting a friend that was having a first date. We went up to the local bar and got ourselves our own table and let our friend sit at her table. Now it was just B, myself and our friend who knew about us sitting there having a few drinks. I had no idea that our friend(we will call her BM) knew about us. B never mentioned that she had shared this little bit of information at the bar to me. BM turned to the two of us and just said, tell me more about what the two of you are doing. I was in a little bit of shock, but B and BM then told me about their talk in the bathroom.
Our lifestyle secret is out. I could have been upset with B, I could have been embarrassed but I was actually very proud that B had someone to share her deepest secret with. We spent the night talking about the lifestyle, how we got into all of this, what we have done so far and what we are planning to continue doing in the future. BM was amazed that we could do this and that we were so open and happy about it.
BM is married but has shared that she is bored and needs excitement in her marriage. They have a typical societal normal marriage. She agrees that her sex life is great, but there is just something that is missing. The feeling of being wanted by another person is an exciting part of relationships. I think that is one of the things that B and I are enjoying in this lifestyle. B has seen other men desire her, want her and spend time with her.
BM has a husband that isn’t about sharing though. Or at least that is the image he wants to put out to the world. I know that he is always worried about what other people are going to think about him. BM hasn’t told him about us yet, but we told her that she could if she felt it might be a conversation starter for the two of them. I think I would like to be a fly on the wall when she tells him.
Now don’t get me wrong, we are not sharing our lifestyle with the rest of the world. We still like to have a little bit of privacy, but as B has said, if people find out, then good for them. We have moved past the fear because this is our life, and we are living it the way we want to.
This week, I want you to at least think about what are the pros and cons of living in the lifestyle. Think about what might happen if people find out. How are you going to react? What are you going to say to the people who ask? Try to not live in the fear of other’s reactions. Live the life you want to live with your partner.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @chastdub, on IG at goodluckcuck and now on Facebook at Chast Dub.You can also email us at goodluckcuck@goodluckcuck.com
2023 Blogs
Hot Tub, Alcohol and A Good Talk
2/26/23
As I thought about what to write this week, I was at first stumped. Not much exciting is going on right now for us. We had to postpone our meet and greet with E. But B is starting to get some mixed feelings from him, so we will see where her gut takes her. With that being one of the few things in the lifestyle that we were looking forward to, I am just finding it tough to put things on the blog today.
But then it hit me. This week, B has been struggling with what we decided to call the gloomy doomy. With out to much information, B is in the week or so leading up to her next cycle. Her brain is shifting, her mood is shifting and everything lifestyle is on the back burner. Hell it isn’t even in the kitchen. Which is normally an ok thing for me and her. We just get through it.
This time though, I was struggling with it. Struggling with the complete 180 her mind and body are doing. There are some things that lead to me struggling, so I am going to go into a little detail of each. First, the almost immediate shift was a struggle, this one seemed to come out of nowhere. Not a gradual change. The second thing was that we were not communicating as well as we have been. We seemed to be reverting to the old days or were at least doing things that we used to do.
I am going to go into that a little more in detail now. During the past two weeks, B has been telling me how she feels pressured. Pressured to be more sexual with me, pressured to be a better wife and just how all that pressure has built up to some resentment towards me. I was very confused when she told me all of this. Because I realized that the changes were coming from her and I was on board with it. I was just confused on how I was still pressuring her, because I strongly felt that I wasn’t doing it this time. We needed to talk deeper.
That is where the hot tub and alcohol come in to play. We do some of our best talks when we are in the hot tub with a good drink in hand. We started talking deeper about how I was pressuring her this time. We actually agreed that I wasn’t pressuring her at all, but two weeks ago I did something that upset her. As I have said before, B likes to be spontaneous especially when it comes to sex. I made the mistake two weeks ago to say I was going to our room to set something up. The moment I said that to her, the switch was flipped and she was put off by any mention of sex. We had finally cleared up the confusion about the pressure and where it came from. But as many of you know me by now, I put a lot of stress on myself as I was searching all of my actions to see where I was putting this pressure the past two weeks. It was a huge relief to find out what she was holding on to and that I could finally stop beating myself up.
As the night went on, we talked even more about how things were going. I told her that I had a realization that when I fall into this head space, I want to make things better. But, there is nothing I can do. This is hormones kicking in. This is out of our control. I did find that I was scared though. I was scared that we were slipping back to how we were two years ago. It frightened me a lot. I didn’t want to go back there. B listened to me and assured me there was no way ever that we would go back to that time in our life. We have grown to much and our love is on such a deeper level. I think we both left the hot tub in a much better place.
I am thankful that B and I finally had a moment to communicate. We had to be intentional about it. No kids, no stress and absolutely no distractions. We had to work backwards to find our cause of the past two weeks. Once we did, we quickly were able to put us on the right path again. So, my advice to everyone this week and what seems like every week, is to communicate. Even if it is going to be a tough talk, you must do it. Find your time and space. Be there for each other and just search for the issue. Once you find it, work on a path that resolves it. Be patient and understand that it may have been either one of you that caused the issue, but it doesn’t matter. You are a team and a very strong team. No blame or shame, just love. That is all you need to work any situation.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @chastdub, on IG at goodluckcuck and now on Facebook at Chast Dub.You can also email us at goodluckcuck@goodluckcuck.com
2023 Blogs
Somewhere in the Middle
2/20/23
Somewhere in the Middle
In the last two blogs I have talked about the Highs and the Lows that I have faced in the lifestyle. I know many other couples at some point can relate to those highs and lows. But for many, if not all couples, they can also relate to the time you are just stuck in the middle. That is where B and I find ourselves currently.
What is in the middle? I look at it as a time in the lifestyle that not much is going on. In our case, no play partner that we are actively seeing. We do have some potential guys that are in the vetting process, but as of right now, just maintaining the course. During this time is where B and I kind of do some soul searching. We look to see what direction we want to go next. Not just in the lifestyle, but in our own personal lives. Are we happy with how things are going with the two of us? I think in the past two blogs, you noticed that there was some unhappiness and there are some times of pure joy. We just have to keep working on us in both the high and low times.
As I said, we are currently vetting a few guys. B has found what she wants. I think there are a lot of those things she is looking for in E. We actually talked with him last August, but shifted our attention to Bear. It’s crazy that this has come full circle again and back to E. He has passed all the normal vetting questions that I had for him and the three of us are in a group chat. We are looking at a possible meet this coming Saturday if all of our schedules align up. The only downside with E is the distance from us. It is about an hour drive, so quick meet ups might not always be easy to set up. E will possibly be our first African American male that we have really talked with and could meet. Nerves are a little high as it has been a while since we had a meet and greet. But this is a no pressure drinks and talking kind of thing. There is no play date planned at all.
It has been hard to find Mr. Right for B. I know what she wants and is looking for. She knows what she needs when I do find him. Getting that combination has been a challenge. B has found that the ideal person would be somewhere that she could go to after a day at work and still make it home before it's to late. Which is a huge change because early on, she only wanted guys that were far away. So, even as things progress with E, we are still looking for a closer person to play with. B’s ideal guy would really give her the boyfriend experience. She knows that she wants two men, me and the boyfriend to be 100% devoted to her. Both of us meeting her wants, needs, and desires. Wish me luck in finding him.
Not much besides that to really share this week. Sometimes you just find yourself just stuck in the middle. Be patient and hopefully things will move in the right direction. But if they do not, then just keep working on each other. Bonus though, the weather is getting a little better here in Michigan, so B and I are getting outside to take our walks. Which is usually where all the good talks happen. As always, reach out to us on email, Twitter and now on the chat messenger on the website.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @chastdub, on IG at goodluckcuck and now on Facebook at Chast Dub.You can also email us at goodluckcuck@goodluckcuck.com
2023 Blogs
The Highs
2/12/23
In this lifestyle, there will be highs and lows and they often come when you don’t expect them at all.Last week, I described a lot of the feelings that may occur in the times that we are feeling a low.From being neglected or at least perceiving that we are being neglected to a lack of our needs not being met.The lows will always come and go, but in a strong relationship, I have found that they really don’t last that long.If you find your low latest longer than you can handle, communicate.
This week I want to focus on the highs in the lifestyle.In my relationship with my wife, we find ourselves in the highs more often than not.Which makes sense that when we fall into a low, it hits me hard, I am just not used to those times.So, how do we keep our level at a high?It takes work and patience and a little luck.
We know that we are busy in our household and we know that in the past it was an excuse.It was our go to escape answer because how can you argue with being busy?But we worked through it by not settling for the easy excuse.We had to demand more from each other and set our expectations very high for each other.But not just setting the expectation for each other, we had to hold each other accountable.
How do we keep each other accountable?First we knew that we must spend time communicating.Set at least 15 minutes of our night that we just are with each other.No distractions!No phones, no kids, no pets, just the two of us in our bedroom.We share what we can’t when others are around.This is a time that there are no thoughts of sex.Keep this time only for talking.If it’s been a rough day, throw in a massage, make her a cup of tea or play some relaxing music in the background.Just make it about each other.We do realize that sometimes this time together just can’t happen and that is ok, we just make sure that it doesn’t happen multiple days in a row.
Now that our basic needs were being met, we were able to move into meeting the physical needs of each other.We are both highly physical and sexual creatures.We enjoy sex and I feel that we are just very good at pleasing each other.With that said, we have continued to play with our newer dynamic of my being a little more dominate in the bedroom.B is starting to really enjoy the pleasure and pain of being spanked.Something that before this journey, she was 100% against and thought she would never enjoy.Amazing how things have changed for her.We have found that the spankings have led to some great sex, which borderlines on pure lust instead of making love.B has also started to listen and act on my needs in the bedroom as well.Areas that she was reluctant to play with, my butt, she is now playing with in different ways.
There are a few other things that have led us to reaching our high again.We have worked on finding a new play partner.There are a few possibilities that we have found and are currently vetting.Distance for one might be a factor, but it looks like it is going in the right direction.We just started talking with another person who is much closer, but very early on in that one.The podcast is still a work in progress.We have two episodes recorded, but the editing process has been a slowdown.I just don’t know how to do it and relying on someone else to help for free has its downside.
Remember that there will always be highs and lows in any lifestyle.It takes work to improve, it takes commitment and it takes holding each other accountable.Celebrate the times things are going right.Even if it is a small thing.Make a point of acknowledging all of it.If you need to, write down what went well that day and share with your partner.When a low hits, down dwell on it.See it for what it is, a possible teaching point.It might have been something you did or your partner did, but you can learn from it.Be able to move on in a better direction without making the same mistakes next time.Stay positive and know that it can all work out, just as long as you are working together.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @chastdub, on IG at goodluckcuck and now on Facebook at Chast Dub.You can also email us at goodluckcuck@goodluckcuck.com
2023 Blogs
The Lows
2/5/23
As I look outside my window while I am writing this blog, I see snow everywhere. The weather has turned very cold for us in Michigan lately. The sun doesn’t rise until I am already at work and if I am lucky, there will be a hint of sunshine when I leave. Winters here are very up and down, it can be in the 30’s for weeks and then single digits for the next few weeks. But one thing remains the same during this time, we just don’t get to see the sun much at all. This puts a tail spin on everything in my life and especially with B.
The lifestyle takes a back seat to everything else at this time. As of right now, we don’t have a lot of time to even think about the lifestyle. Sports, kids, pets, jobs and everything else just becomes a dull reminder and we seem to be counting the days to spring. It just feels that our battery levels are reading almost empty during this time.
As we all know, even when we are tired and most likely exhausted, we still have needs and wants. We navigate how to get these needs met, but it just becomes tricky. As B and I have discussed, if we put all of our energy into a bucket, everything we do all day just empties the bucket by the days end. When we finally have time to relax at night and spend a few minutes with each other without the stress and distractions, we realize that the bucket is empty. We are exhausted, running on fumes and we just don’t have time to fully devote to each other. We just find ourselves stuck doing the mindless things like playing on our phones, watching a TV series or sitting in awkward silence. There is no energy left at all to have deep conversations, let alone think about anything sexually.
B and I have found ourselves at this point many times in our marriage. A lot of the time, it really is connected to this time of the year. B needs her sun, her pool, her beach, her fresh air. She needs warm weather, her shorts, her swimsuit and our walks around town each night. The last time I can remember us really feeling that empty bucket feeling was when we had the talk. We were really at our lowest point in our marriage a couple years ago. We worked hard to not get back to that low point in our marriage. We learned to talk and express our needs and wants with each other. We learned to communicate with each other, even when we knew it would be hard. We have to remind ourselves no matter what, that we need to continue to use those last few drops of energy on meeting each other’s needs. Keep focusing on what matters most.
Many of my friends in the lifestyle are dealing with the same feelings, worn out and exhausted. The feeling of neglect seems to creep in and as they share their needs and wants, it just feels that it lands on deaf ears. In some cases, the wife is still going on dates, seeing her bulls and finding time to play. The male brain begins to play our typical mind games. They have time for everything else, but not me? What am I doing wrong? What can I do to make her pay attention to me again? Is she moving on, checking out? Why am I being number two in all of this? I need to fix this and fix it now.
The male brain can be a really dangerous thing. I know personally that I beat myself up to nearly the point of shut down. Pulling myself back and I just go through the motions. Hoping that it will get better, but not putting any of the remaining energy into fixing it. But sometimes, there isn’t something to fix. Or there isn’t something that can be fixed. You can’t fix being busy. Kids will have events, pets will be needy and work will be demanding. You have to accept that those are constants and will never change. If you have a partner that is still finding time to play, try to avoid being jealous. You are still her entire world.
It may be that she is using play as an escape from the real world. Having an escape is what we all need sometimes. Be glad that she has something to let her relax a bit and forget about all those stressors. We need to find our escape as well. This is probably one of the hardest thing for me. There isn’t a lot of things that I have in my life that just let me forget about life for a few moments. I like video games, so that tends to be my go to. But even when I am playing those, the guilt feeling creeps up a bit. Instead of giving B my attention and energy, I am vegging out. Even if she is just sitting there playing on her phone, I still feel I should be by her side, at her feet, touching her, showing her my love.
The neglect feeling is real. The emotions can be raw. It hurts to have the feeling that there isn’t anything left for you. I see these emotions running through my group chats lately. Sometimes we swing from excitement that our partners are enjoying themselves, while other times we go into these fits of jealousy. We don’t want to be there, we just find ourselves in these downward spirals. Inflicting mental anguish on ourselves and really beating ourselves up. I know when I get that way, I hate it. It take so much more energy to get out of the hole I dug for myself.
We are personally in a bad place. As many of my male friends find themselves in this pit of despair, we continue to put on our game faces. We have to be strong and supportive to our wives. We have to show her support and encouragement, even if we may not be feeling it back with the same energy. Then there is the other side of things, when our wives are the ones in the low point. Men want to fix things. We see that they are down and we are willing to do whatever is necessary to get them out of it. Even at times, we take the blame for everything that put them there. We put the load on our shoulders and will carry it for as long as needed.
Depleted and exhausted, we continue to carry on. We all know that this is temporary. We all know that the love for each other doesn’t waver. We just know that we are exhausted. We look for escapes and in some cases, our wives find them in their play partners. While we stay at home, cleaning, cooking, taking care of the kids and the house. We try to make life easier for them. If we can just take away a few stressors, it can get better. Right? It does and it will. Trust me.
I know that this gets said a lot in my blogs and everywhere else in this lifestyle, but you need to communicate. Be ready to share your needs and wants and listen to hers as well. My advice this week is this though, don’t overloud her with all of your needs and wants. Pick the important ones that you are needing. If you have ten items on your list, share two. Don’t overwhelm your partner with too many items. Be honest with them, be honest with yourself. Even if you feel that what you are saying is falling on deaf ears, still communicate. Things more than likely didn’t get the way they are overnight and it will take time to get them back to how they were. Make the right steps to go in the right direction.
You are not alone in this journey. If you are feeling frustrated and confused, it is normal. If you need any help, an ear to vent to or just another friend in the lifestyle, reach out to me. You can follow and message me on Twitter @chastdub or email me at goodluckcuck@goodluckcuck.com
2023 Blogs
Breathe in, Breathe Out Move On!
1/29/23
Healing and moving on and up. So, we continue to heal from the moving on from Bear, we find ourselves in such a better place. We continue to focus on us. We have recorded our first episode of our upcoming podcast. I am learning the process of editing and I am still not sure exactly when it will come out, I am feeling very positive about it. Even if things take longer than expected, I am just so blessed to be doing all of this with my wife.
Life never stops moving forward. We have found ourselves being involved in our son’s sports, all the volunteering we do at our child’s school and work, we still found a way to stay in touch with each other. We know that we have to make a constant effort to put each other first. We remember that before we started this journey, that we didn’t focus on each other. We let our energy go to everything else and just hoped we would find time and energy for each other.
Still putting each other first. Building on what we already have seems to be easy. We both know that we can talk to each other when we need something. When we want something, all we must do is talk. I have done this a few times this week and B has done this as well. Most of the time it is such minor things, like I just need a little more attention, a kiss, a hug or just to be alone with you to talk. Even if the talks are about nothing at all. We just crave each other, and our world is so much better when we are together.
Other big things to come. I was invited to be on the Kinky Cocktail podcast on Saturday night with my cuck brothers Aussie and Hopeful. The episode may come out as soon as Wednesday of this week. It was such an amazing experience as we talked about bulls from the cuck perspectives. Saffer Master and Lady Petra are just amazing people who continue to share a positive light on the world of kink and sexuality.
We are still vetting and looking for future partners. This process is never an easy one. Do not lower your standards to make the piece fit. I almost feel into that trap. Things were going well in the vetting process, but his first interactions with B left a bad taste in her mouth. Instead of coming out smooth, she got the dick pic. For B, that is honestly the last thing she wants to see. As she says, it is best to leave some things to the imagination. She will take some time to cool off and she what she wants to do, but I support her and know she will make the best decision for her.
My advice this week is stay true to yourself. Never settle for less than you both deserve. Make sure what you are looking for is there. It is better to take a little longer in the journey than to be hurt and disappointed. Talk about what you need and want, as things will change. But always be true to who you really are.
Remember if you ever need help, have a question or just need someone to listen to you, contact us at @chastdub or @wifeofdub on Twitter or email us at Goodluckcuck@goodluckcuck.com
2023 Blogs
Good Things are Coming!
1/22/23
What a week my friends! Even with our son’s sports starting up, work being hectic as always and just trying to survive this crazy winter season, we were able to get our first episode of the Good Luck Cuck podcast recorded. It has a long way to go as we begin editing and producing before it gets out to the public, but B and I are very excited on how it is turning out. More about that in a bit, but I would like to talk about Cuck Week on Twitter first.
So, many of you are either aware of what Cuck Week is or you have no idea what I am talking about. Cuck Week was started a year ago by a large group of people from Twitter and other influential people in the cuckold lifestyle community. The idea was first thought about and timed up with the release of the book Insatiable Wives by Dr. David J. Ley. The book was originally wrote back in 2011, but the audio book release was timed up with Cuck Week last year. It is worth getting one or both of the versions.
The week quickly exploded all over Twitter as well as the Mon Chat app. Polls, chats, tweets with the hash tag Cuck Week flooded the pages and the idea of creating a loving positive message for the men in the lifestyle quickly grew. I know that was when I started really connecting with people all over the world who shared my same thoughts and ideas on the lifestyle. It was really our first feeling of belonging to a community that thinks the same way as we do.
Feeling empowered during last year’s Cuck Week, I decided to start a few Mon chats. The first was titled the Not Yet Cuck. This was about the struggles that we were facing in the lifestyle, the growth that we were making and the things that we were learning about each other. It was a really positive experience and really started to launch a deeper idea of community for me. I did another Mon Chat and I was able to encourage B to be on it with me. I remember her being very shy as we started the chat, but she quickly found her stride and I think she was a big hit. I really just remember how things just started to make sense during that week for what we wanted to do in our own marriage.
Not long after that a community just naturally started to grow. Twitter followers, Twitter groups and Mon chats just seemed to become a natural part of our lives. We learned from others and in some cases they learned from us. During that time, I really connected with a few people and one of them put an idea in my head about starting a podcast. That really was the farthest thing from our minds, but it was interesting to think about. But what did come from that was the start of this blog and we all know how this has turned out.
The podcast started out as just an idea, something that sounded great but there really wasn’t a true vision of the project. How could there have been a true vision as B and I were still learning to take those first steps on our journey. We hadn’t played yet, we had limited knowledge of any of this and why would someone want to hear that story at all? But we grew as a couple, we have now played and we are still newbies, but we have a message to share. Our message was that no matter what stage of the journey you are on, there are many others just like you. We found it nearly impossible to find any information geared towards the interested, the curious and the just starting out.
The idea is now a reality. With the help of our friend Dilton, we were able to get all the equipment we needed to start the podcast. But getting equipment isn’t enough. We had to fine tune our message. We had to really put a purpose to what we were going to share. We had to meet the needs of males, females and couples just like us. Dilton pushed us to focus as podcasts are an area that he knows a lot better than we do.
Idea to reality to a recording! This week B and I were able to sit down and get a recording saved. We actually recorded it a few times, but the first few takes just didn’t fit. It was our story, but we were focus on notes to talk to each other. The light bulb moment hit, this is our story, we don’t need to read it off a piece of paper. We lived it, we are living it and we are loving it. So, we hit record for the third time and just started talking. We discussed our first thoughts of each other nearly 30 years ago in High School. We discussed how time changed our lives and sent us in two very different directions, but fate brought us back together. We talked for nearly 45 minutes and B just blew me away. Hearing her side of things, some things I have never heard before and seeing her power grow with each passing minute. I just sat there in awe of her. When I think that I can’t love her any more than I already do, she just does something like this and there it is.
As of right now, we are working on the editing piece of the podcast. I am not exactly sure when it will be released, but I am hoping sooner rather than later. I am hoping that during Cuck Week this year, B and I will get back on the Mon Chat and share our journey and maybe we can make an impact on couples and singles in the lifestyle. I know that many of the presenters last year helped us as we found ourselves just trying to figure this all out. So, thank you for all of you who have supported us in the last year. Thank you for all the steps you are taking in your journey.
Now I have something to ask of all of you. We want this podcast to help you. With that being said, if you have any questions, ideas or ideas that you want us to discuss, email us at goodluckcuck@goodluckcuck.com you can type us a message or even better, feel free to send us a voice recorded question or statement. Anything you send us may end up on the podcast. We will of course protect your identity, but we will use any or all of it on the podcast. Thank you all again and Happy Cuck Week!!
2023 Blogs
Trying New Things
Since we have moved on from Bear, we have worked a little bit on trying new things. But before I go into those details, I want to remind everyone that this lifestyle, our journey and how we live it is ours. Your journey will be different from everyone else’s. There will be times that the journeys sound similar, but there will also be times that you may find yourself lost. Looking for a path that isn’t there. You just must trust in each other and keep moving forward.
B was finding that she liked the idea of being a submissive for Bear. She enjoyed doing his task each morning and night. She never missed one task during their time together. I was actually quite impressed, but I do know that B is really one to follow rules. She isn’t a wave maker and deep down, she is a people pleaser. After a lot of discussion, B and I decided that I would take the role as a Dom for her. I can hear a lot of people now saying that isn’t how this all works. A cuck is weak, a sub, a lesser than or no where near a Dom level. Let me explain in our terms.
First, as I said before, there are no rules in this lifestyle. Well, maybe one rule. That is the female’s empowerment through her sexual development. That is exactly what B wanted and needed at this time. She wanted to have that same feeling of submission that she had with Bear, but with me. She wants to continue to grow in this area of her sexual life. She isn’t being treated as a less than, trust me, she is still in control of all of this. I am just meeting the needs she has at the moment.
To keep moving on, I needed to create tasks for her and have her still can grow. Many of the tasks we stole from Bear. So, thank you for those if you are reading this. But we added a few more, but those tasks are really designed to help her get outside the social norm box that she sometimes falls back in to. A few examples: find and watch porn, dress sexier when we go on dates and step up her slutty intentions with me. The first two are easy to understand. Let me explain the third a little bit more. B is just starting to get back on her feet and sex and sexual adventures are now starting to come to her mind more and more. So, I have tasked her to not wear a bra all the time, to slightly please me at times, but stop before it progresses to even more. To share her thoughts about wanting other men and even thinking about ways to get those men.
She is really in control of all of this. I am helping her in any form that I can. She really wanted to explore the submissive side of things. Currently we don’t have a play partner, so putting those thoughts on the shelf until we find someone wasn’t a good idea. We both agreed on that. I think that by doing this for her shows that deeper connection to her needs and wants. This is really what this lifestyle is all about. Her needs and wants. Her sexual development and empowerment. Seeing her continue to grow each day just amazes me.
This lifestyle and the journey you take in it is the two of yours. Own this journey. Never let someone say you are doing it wrong. There are no set rules, except the ones you two create together. Enjoy what you do together, what she does alone and always focus on improving through communication.
2023 Blogs
Moving on
So, this past week has been very, well let’s just say disappointing. Everything was going well in the start of the week, but things really came to a halt on Wednesday.
Let’s step back and fill everyone in first. So, for about a month, Bear and B have been working through some issues. They both have different forms of needs to make this all work out. Bear needs physical attention. Not just meaning the bedroom, but he needs to see, touch and talk face to face. B on the other hand knows that she needs more contact. This could be in a lot of forms, such as text and phone calls. She for the time being, knows that she needs a strong connection for the lifestyle to work out. They set a plan in action for them to get more of what each other needs and wants. It was actually working out well for the most part.
The plan included B still doing her daily tasks for Bear, Bear responding more to her messages and a set time to talk on the phone. The plan also including seeing each other more often, even if it was just a lunch date. But it also made sure that there was a play date at a hotel at least once a month. Things like I said were on the right path.
The plan was in full swing and dates were being made. The biggest date was to happen this week. The third hotel playdate was all set and ready to go. But because of other things, this was going to have to be a lot different. It was going to be their first play date without me being there. This was going to be a huge step in all of this. B was getting her mind set for all of this, we talked about what might happen and how the two of us would be prepared to handle any issues that might come up. I think we were both excited and nervous all at the same time.
Then Wednesday hit us like a ton of bricks. Now we totally understand that we are all busy and things do come up. But Bear messaged B that the hotel might not happen because of a family obligation that came up. He did say that it could still happen if it was a lot later in the night. But for your informational purposes, B is not a night owl. Most nights she is out by 10 pm. So, bumping to a later time was not ideal and B knew it wouldn’t work for her. Plus we had already set a few other things in place for me to do while they were alone. After the two messaged back and forth for a bit, it was decided that the hotel date was off.
As expected, B called me on her way home from work and told me all of the news. I just listened to her and tried to be supportive. I could tell she was angry, but I know her very well. There was anger for sure, but she hates to be let down. This was a hard pill for her to swallow. After she got home, she decided to keep working things out with Bear and see if there was a path forward. After really using her Mother Fucking Words (thanks Two Hotwives), She realized that Bear was always going to be to busy for her. She realized that she needs more attention and that she deserves more attention. So, after a lot on thought and B going back and forth in her own head, she decided that it would be best for this relationship to end.
There is the old saying, it is better to love and lost, then never loved at all. Well, in this case I think the saying, it is better to play and lost, then never play at all fits well. This was our first attempt at diving into the lifestyle. We made some mistakes as we went along the way, we learned from those mistakes. We did a lot of positive things as well and plan to make those even better in the future. We learned even more about ourselves and our needs. We learned that B hasn’t been turned off by the lifestyle and has tasked me to start searching again for the next Mr. Right. We learned that B needs the boyfriend type experience.
The boyfriend experience, hmm what does that even mean. Well, what we think it means is that we are looking for a single guy. Someone who is well versed in the lifestyle, but then again maybe that doesn’t matter as much. She wants someone who is going to want to be with her, not just physically, but emotionally as well. Someone that wants to talk to her and will go out of his way to just spend a few minutes of his time with her. She wants a guy that will push her to be better. Someone that will flirt with her and help her build her confidence as she grows. Basically, she just wants someone that really wants her.
Is Mr. Right out there, of course he is. Does B deserve to have Mr. Right, Hell yeah she does. Will it take time to find him, I am sure it will. But we are patient and will work to find him. So, my advice this week is that even though things may not always go as planned, it is ok. Things will always work out. I love the saying, people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I think that Bear came into our lives only for a season. He meant more to us than just being a reason. He was and will always be a large moment in our lives. I am glad that it all ended the best way possible. It ended with communication and honesty. I think we all knew we couldn’t make this work to meet everyone’s needs. So, as this season of our lives ends, we look forward to what lies next for us. Of course, I will keep you updated as we continue this journey. Thank you all for reading and Happy New Year!
