My own worst enemy

 

I have been thinking a long time about writing this blog post, but never really had the time to write it until now.  So, I would like to start out by saying that like many people, I am my own worst critic.  I am the strongest judge on myself and I have all my life.  Really as long back as I can remember, I have always been very critical oh myself.

 

Nearly all my life, I have been the peacemaker.  I am probably the most optimistic person you will ever meet.  I always look at the bright side of things and even in bad situations, I can find a silver lining.  I seem to be the guy at any party that worries about is there enough food and drink for all the people.  The one that when there is a problem, if I am needed, I jump right in to help.  I will always go the extra mile to help others and make them happy if I can. 

 

But back to being my own worst critic.  I have always looked at the good things in my life and really enjoyed them.  I do everything to keep them in my mind and look back at them fondly.  But when I do make mistakes and errors, I really tear myself down.  I internalize my actions, words and thoughts and then go into beating myself up.  Usually because I feel that I have let the people around me down in some way.  It may be from my actions or words, but I know that they have been hurt. 

 

After letting someone down, I go into a bad cycle.  I start by analyzing everything that I have done.  How did I react, what did I say and even worse what was I thinking at the time.  I really start beating myself up and I know that I make things worse.  Emotionally I know that I shut down.  I pull away from the person or people that I have hurt or disappointed.  I think that I do this because it allows them to avoid dealing with the situation even more or deal with me in my current state.  I feel that this is my biggest character flaw that I have.

 

Now, many of you are thinking how this relates to the lifestyle.  Many times, in the lifestyle, we come across situations that we really don’t know how to discuss with our partners.  Or even how to deal with in our own heads.  We struggle with communication with our partners because we don’t think about how to say things strategically.  From the guy perspective, we sometimes just say what is on our mind and don’t think about the consequences.  Yes, speaking what you need to say is very important.  But sometimes it is more important to think about a gentler way to say something.  Maybe a right time of day to talk about what is on your mind.  Being able to read your partner is also a very good quality to have.  Then knowing your partner and how they would take what you have to share is also very important. 

 

So, try not to be your own worst enemy and know that you are in this lifestyle with someone that really cares about you.  Not every conversation will go smoothly.  They really shouldn’t all be easy.  Especially as you progress deeper into the lifestyle.  Be mindful of both partners needs and desires.  Sometimes you are on the same page and chugging right along.  Then other times, it will feel that you hit a fork in the road and you and your partner are on different paths.  This is ok and no matter where you find each other, you are still on the journey together.  You just might have to push through uncharted land to get back on the same path.  While finding your way back to each other, there will more than likely be mistakes made.  This is where I want you to be thinking about not being your own worse enemy. 

 

Just because things get tough, doesn’t mean things are over.  If you are both honest with each other, things will all work out.  Don’t beat yourself up to much, try to avoid the pitfalls that I tend to make in my own life.  Communicate with your partner and keep working towards the positive.  There are always positives in this lifestyle.  There will always be positives in your own relationship with your partner.  Keep focusing on the good, build yourself up and remember we all make mistakes. 

 

So, my advice to everyone is simply, communicate.  This entire lifestyle is all about communication.  I know with B, we developed an extremely strong understanding that communication is the key to making this lifestyle work.  It isn’t always easy for the two of us.  As I am one to speak my mind and like I mentioned earlier, I don’t always say things strategically.  While B is sometimes one with less words at the time I may need to hear them, she spends more time thinking about how and what she wants to say.  I know I need to be patient when I feel that she is pulling back, but in reality she is just trying to be mindful of me.  She is really thinking strategically as she often does in our marriage.  So communicate often, be patient and remember you are on this journey together.  Love, hug, kiss and just be open to each other’s ideas. 


As the year 2022 is ending, I just wanted to write this blog post to just put the year into perspective. 

 

B and I started this year still taking the baby steps to enter the unknown.  At the beginning of this year, we had spent nearly 9 months trying to figure out what we wanted and what it would look like to get to that stage.  So, we discussed and entering into February of this year, B gave me the opportunity to start looking for possible guys to join in to our lifestyle.  We all know how that went, we went from the typical onslaught of guys who shared dick pics and said how they were going to be the best she has ever had to the ghosts, flakes and snakes. (Can be read in the blog with the same title) We found one guy we called O that B still talks to, but is more of just a friendly thing and the odds it will go further are not likely.  He lives very far away, but there was a friendship that was built.


From February to about the middle of summer, we really didn’t have much luck finding anyone to join us.  We are not in the greatest area.  So, we continued to work on each other and our commitment to each other.  We focused on the communication piece.  We roleplayed, we created the what if scenarios and we just loved each other even more as we grew. 


A little bit later in the summer, we went on our first meet and greet date.  This was definitely new for us and completely out of our comfort zone, but we knew we were both ready to take this step.  It was actually a really nice time.  Awkward at times, but we knew it would be.  But we survived it.  We met Bear on that date.  If you are a reader of the blog, you know all about how that has gone.  So, I am not going to revisit that, you can look at many of the past few blogs that are dedicated to that.

 

The Fall and heading into Winter is always a busy time for us.  We knew that the lifestyle would have to take a back seat to everything we have going on.  But the thing about it, even though it wasn’t the primary thought, we didn’t abandon the idea.  We let it grow within the two of us.  We discussed ideas that we had when we first started out.  We discussed how those ideas changed and that led to rules changing.  We focused on just letting things happen naturally.  We ran through many more what if’s that may come and how we would handle those that we didn’t see coming.  It was really nice and exciting when B admitted that she liked doing this and didn’t want to stop.  So, during the past few months, we continued with Bear and plan on seeing where it all goes into the new year.

 

I want to wrap up this year’s last blog with a little advice that I have come up with as we journey.  I had a very important person in my life who is much younger than I am, say to me the following.  She said, did you know that it isn’t your partners job to make you happy?  I responded to her by saying that is 100% correct.  If we solely depend on our partner to make us happy and never work on it ourselves, then we will never really be happy.  I feel that our partner can bring us joy, comfort, and love, which in turn can help us be happy, but if we don’t know how or what we need to be happy, then happiness will never come.  I fully believe in compersion and the joy that brings to me.  I believe that B has found what makes her happy and I feel that I am a great compliment to that happiness she feels.  I also feel the same in that B fills me with joy and is a true compliment in my happiness. 

I know that many couples enter into this without the long term thought about how things could go.  My advice is this, whoever has the idea and shares it first with the other, take the time to listen.  When I first brought this up, neither of us had any idea what this lifestyle was.  B cried and comforted and then we just set out on learning more.  We honestly spent a year just talking about it.  Take your time and communicate.  Be honest with your feelings and be open to your partners.  If they aren’t ready, then pause and reflect.  Wait to move on until you are both ready. 

 

My last bit of advice is this, love your partner unconditionally.  Both of you will make mistakes in this journey.  Even the most experienced couples still make mistakes.  But when hard times do come, support each other.  When your partner makes new rules and sets the bar even higher for you or your play partners, strive to meet that bar.  If she wants a sex free marriage, discuss if you want that as well.  If she wants you in chastity, discuss that as well.  My guess is that many times as she raises that bar for you, it is out of love.  She may be guessing that is what you want or she may be doing the things you have asked for her to do for you.  Your partner loves you and is willing to try new things.  I know that you love them and are also up to doing new things.  Love each other, hug each other and kiss each other.  Never lose the idea that your partner is always number one.  Because you know that you are your partners number one as well. 

 

I wish everyone happy new year and I wish everyone the best 2023.

Riding Solo


As you may remember from the last blog, B and Bear were planning for a lunch date in the coming week.  So, I am going to talk about this past week and the lead up to the date in this blog.

 

The week was pretty much the same routine as always.  Get up, get ready for work, go to work and come back home.  The only exception this week was that B was on vacation.  Which was a good thing as she was pretty much down and out with illness.  Not the way you want to spend your vacation I know.  Even with not feeling well, B still did all of her assigned tasks for Bear.  After I got up and showered, I would come back in to the bedroom and B would be laying there ass in the air, so I could take her daily panty picture for Bear.  I would take it, edit it and then give her a kiss as I got ready.  She would then roll back over and get some more sleep. 

 

Monday to Wednesday were just normal days of the week.  I did everything I could do to help her feel better and by the end of the week, we could see she was doing better.  Still as I write this, she isn’t 100% but we did get out and do somethings over the weekend. Thursday was when we really started to talk about the upcoming date. 

 

I felt that we needed to discuss the what ifs that may come up.  B was steadfast in that nothing would happen except some flirting and talking.  She felt that they needed to reconnect on at least those levels so things could move forward.  I told her that she needed to be prepared for other scenarios.  She was adamant that nothing more would happen.  She had told me that she wouldn’t play if I wasn’t around.  I assured her that if the situation came up that I was ok if she played alone and not to worry about me.  The only rule that I asked of her was that she messaged me when she was leaving and when she was done.  She smiled at me, and I know that she really believed nothing would happen other than a little flirting.

 

Finally, Friday was here.  I left for work and B just relaxed around the house.  She took a slow approach to her morning as she didn’t want to get tired out.  I received a text that she was going to run some errands first before they met.  Around noon, I got my second text that she was there and she was about to go in.  We both texted we love each other and then it went silent.  About an hour later, I got my third text with her saying that it was over and she was going back home.  I asked if it went well, and she replied with I have a story to tell you.  We both left it alone until work was over and I was on my way home.

 

I called her and we just did our normal talking about our day and what we had planned for the night and the weekend.  I didn’t want to pry and I wanted her to share her lunch date on her terms.  We knew that we were going to be very busy the rest of the night, so she asked if I wanted to hear about it over the phone or face to face.  I was torn, but I decided to hear it over the phone, just in case I needed to process what I was hearing.  She told me that they met at a coffee shop that was very small and decided to go to another restaurant.  Sadly, the other place was closed so they went back to the coffee shop.  They ordered drinks and then Bear said let’s go back to your car. 

 

They headed back out to the parking lot and into our car.  B sat in the driver’s seat and Bear was in the passenger seat.  She then started to tell me all the details.  She said at first, they just talked and were catching up with each other.  Then all of a sudden, he reached over and unzipped her pants and undid her button of her pants.  He then slipped his hands inside of her pants and started to rub her clit and pussy.  Being that she was wearing pants, it was slightly awkward.  He then removed his hand and they started to kiss for a little bit.  Bear then sat back and unzipped his pants and pulled out his erect cock.  He looked her in the eyes and told her to suck his cock. 

 

B did as she was directed.  Without hesitation, B leaned over the center console and took his cock into her mouth.  Every once in a while, Bear would tell her to sit up as someone would be walking by to go into the stores of the plaza.  After they were left alone again, B returned to his cock.  She sucked on his cock until he asked her if she wanted his seed.  She kept sucking and then he started to cum into her mouth, which she then swallowed.  He then reached back over and played with her pussy a little bit more.  They talked for just a few more minutes and then both had to leave.

 

I heard all of this as I was driving home.  I was able to keep it on the road, just in case you were wondering.  She asked if I was ok and I told her that I was.  I also told her that I was glad I prepped her about what might happen.  She just said that she honestly believed that nothing was going to happen.  She admits that she is very naïve at times. 

 

Later that night, we finally had a chance to sit face to face to talk.  B again asked how I was doing.  I wasn’t upset or did I have any hurt feelings.  I then kind of pushed why she was asking me so many times if I was ok.  She told me she was worried that I would be upset with her.  I told her I couldn’t be upset with her.  I told her that if I wasn’t ok with her going solo, we would have talked it out before she went.  I told her that I was ok with her playing solo and that with our busy lives, solo dates might make things easier.  Which she then told me, that it would because Bear wants to have a lunch date every couple of weeks.  As well as a play date possibly once a month or more.  I let her know that it would be ok if she was comfortable to have these lunch dates, then that would be good for all of us.  I also mentioned that these lunch dates may in time turn into playdates for the two of them.  I think that she is still being naïve as she said she didn’t think so.

 

So, what is next?  I am not sure what is next.  I know that Bear mentioned that on their next lunch date, that they could record their conversation and anything else that they do.  I know that B seemed to enjoy her lunch date.  I also know that this was 100% not the wife I know.  She would never do anything like this in public.  She is always worried about getting caught in public.  The fear of being caught and the consequences that could come from it.  I know that I was very proud of the inner slut that came out in her.  I really couldn’t be any prouder of her.  It is amazing to see her continued sexual growth and confidence.  I look forward to the next few weeks as B and Bear continue to strengthen their connection.  They are going to work out more of the details in the Dom/sub roles. 

 

Again thank you all for taking a little bit of time to read this and share my experiences with you.  If you ever have questions or just want to talk, connect with me.  I always look forward to hearing from you and helping you on your journey as well.  Find me on Twitter @chastdub.

One  on One

This time of year always seems to be extra busy for us.  Between work, family, and holidays we don’t spend a lot of time thinking about the extra stuff.  In this case, by extra stuff, I mean living the lifestyle.  But I am going to update everyone on the steps we have continued to take and the plans for the future.

 

First a little update from the last blog about communicating with your play partners.  B did find her voice and talk more in depth with Bear about what she was feeling and wanting from their relationship.  It was a struggle for her, as she is the type of person who puts her needs last.  But with encouragement and a little extra prodding from me, she found her words.  Bear responded and explained his side of things.  He needs contact through physical meetings.  It doesn’t have to be sex every time, but he needs to see, touch, and talk to build the connections.  He also asked if she wants more domination from him.  So, they are working through what that looks like.  They have messaged even more and have talked on the phone a few more times.  It looks like things are back on track.

 

So, what is next for the two of them?  The two of them are planning on having a lunch date in the next week.  This is just a meet and lunch together.  But it will give them both a chance to reconnect in the ways that they both need.  If it is anything like the first date the three of us had, there will be some flirting, touching and I am sure some kissing going on.  The big thing about this date is that the two of them will be going out without me.  This was something that in the beginning of this journey, B would have never agreed to.  I reassured her that it was ok and I think that she needed to take this step. 

 

As I have said many times in my blogs, communicate and support each other.  Also, don’t set rules in stone.  Every partner you play with will be different.  Your feelings may swing, your partners may change as well.  But you need to talk with each other and see if those changes are for the better or for the worse.  If you lock in rules without any chance to relook at them, you may be setting yourself up for many bad experiences. 

 

So, what happens next?  Obviously the two of them are going on a date.  From there we are hoping that schedules work out and the two of them can have a play date again before the new year.  We are all busy, but at least everyone is talking about the possibility of getting back together.  Now the two times we have played before, I have had a little bit of interaction with the two of them.  Mostly I am just there to watch, but I have had to eat her pussy during the break and also kiss B while she had Bear’s cum in her mouth.  But mostly I just want B to enjoy herself and really let go.  I wonder if she really needs me there to enjoy the moment or is my presence there holding her back?  That is something we need to discuss further. 

 

Thank you all for taking a few moments out of your life to read the blog.  I appreciate all of you and hope you stay healthy and have a merry holiday season.

Communication is KEY!


In a lot of my blogs, I have discussed the communication between B and myself.  It takes a very strong and healthy couple to enter this lifestyle.  I feel that one of the main cornerstones of this lifestyle is communication.  Being open and honest with each other must happen.  To be vulnerable with your needs and be understanding of your partners needs is key.


I am not going to go much deeper into the communication that B and I have together, but switch it up a little and talk about the communication between couples and their bulls/play partners. 

 

We have had all types of communicators during our journey through this lifestyle.  As I have wrote about before, we have had the snakes, flakes and ghost.  We have had some that develop into more of a friendship path instead of the sexual path.  We have learned a lot about ourselves as we travel.

 

Every dynamic is different, so I am just going to speak from how we live our lives and what we hope to get out of the lifestyle.  B knows that she needs a partner that will meet her high standards.  She wants a partner that will communicate with her at the least a few times a day.  It can be in any form: text, video, or phone call.  She just wants to know that they are thinking about her and want to get to know her even more.  She wants them to want her on the emotional level as well as the physical level.  B wants a guy that can communicate with her and maintain a conversation.  She wants someone that will challenge her a little bit.  Ask her questions that get her to think.  Maybe make some sexual scenarios that play out in her head from the picture that they paint for her. 

 

There has been one thing that we realized that we failed at when it comes to communication in the lifestyle.  We realized  that even with all the communication that we have together, we still need to improve.  We need to improve in the area of communication  with our play partners.  In the beginning as we vetted, we talked a lot with our potential partners.  I look back now, and it could be called the honeymoon phase.  When everything is clicking and the flirting is very strong.  Everyone is included and the basics are being discussed as we prep for the first meet and greet.  Then we move past that and the real flirting builds up between B and in our case Bear. 

 

Now that we have played a few times, we need to figure out what comes next.  B has continued to do her daily tasks for Bear every day.  But she also feels that she isn’t getting back the same energy that she is putting in.  I know that we all have lives to live.  Fall to wintertime is never fun around our house.  We just get busy, and the weather just gets worse.  So, B and I have discussed what happens next.  B said that she wants to meet with Bear at least one more time.  She really thinks that each time has gotten a lot better and wonders if the third time is really the charm.  The only downside is that she wasn’t feeling the same desire from Bear.  I mean he did say he wants to meet again.  Don’t get me wrong, he hasn’t ghosted us. 

 

What we did discover though was simple and right in front of our faces.  As much as doing the daily tasks for Bear, it wasn’t enough.  B was telling me about what she wanted from him, but she wasn’t telling him.  So, earlier today B and I sat down and talked it out.  We talked about what she wants and feels that she deserves in this relationship.  After our talk, we sat down and sent Bear the message.  In the words of one of my favorite Podcasts “The Two Hotwives”, we used our mother fucking words. 

 

So, I am going to wrap this up by saying this, remember that all people involved need to communicate to the level that makes each person happy.  It will look different for each couple.  If it isn’t what you want then use your words.  Don’t attack anyone as they probably have no idea of your desires.  Especially if you never said anything.  Don’t be ashamed to ask for more.  Or in some cases, ask for less.  Be patient as each person involved discoveries what is needed. 

No More Fear!


Welcome back to my blog.  In the past few blogs, I discussed the ideas of being weak or strong as a cuck and the fears that many cucks have in the lifestyle.  Today I am going to discuss how those ideas and how they relate more directly to my life and to my marriage with B. 


Let’s start with the idea of a cuck being weak.  In my relationship with B, there has always been things that have been very consistent.  I have always been a good provider in the household.  I have always been a great father to my kids (from a previous marriage), her kids (my step son and step daughter) and our child we have together.  I have always been one to do things around the house that are in societal thinking more along the lines of the female chores.  I love to cook and do laundry and I have gotten a lot better at helping when it comes to cleaning around the house.  I do the tasks that B hates, like the bathrooms.  I cook nearly 90% of all the meals in the house. 


My mornings start with us both getting up and taking a shower together.  I then help her get her morning picture for Bear and then I head downstairs.  I then get B’s morning shake made, her lunch for the day and a Yeti of ice water.  On cold days, I add in hot tea for her ride to work.  I then get all of her things by the door so she can leave on time.  I get myself ready, wake up our son and then I’m out the door as well.  We spend about 15 minutes on the phone together as we drive to work.  I get home from work before her, and I get the house ready for the night and cook dinner.  We always talk on the phone her entire ride home from work.


I have always enjoyed doing all of these things well before getting into the lifestyle.  But I have stepped up my game even more since we got into the lifestyle.  I feel that doing all of these tasks gives me a lot of power in our marriage.  It gives me the power to lessen her stress and gives her more time to really relax at night.  I don’t see a husband or partner who helps in what may have once been called the woman’s chores a sign of weakness.  I see it as a sign of strength and a sign of true love.  When I put myself second to her needs, I am a true servant of her.  I will submit my own needs for hers.  I will show my love and build her up, support her and care for her always with no end. 

 

No on to my cuck fears.  In my personal life, I really don’t care about being outted.  I don’t do things to get outted, but I live my life the way I want to live it.  So that to me really isn’t a fear for me.  Neither was the idea of being replaced.  I feel that our marriage is build on the strongest rock.  We lean on each other more and more each day.  Our communication is at the highest level it has ever been.  We know we can say anything and everything to each other.  Simply, we make each other better people.  There will always be a worry about STI’s and unwanted pregnancy.  There are ways to make this less of a worry, but there could always be bad characters in the lifestyle who want to do bad things.  So being conscientious of this will always be on our minds.

 

The one that I want to go into more detail about is her falling in love.  In the beginning, I wasn’t really worried about this because of our newfound connection we have created.  But, once we started playing, I always had that wonder, what if she did find a special guy that meet a lot of her needs.  Like I said, I wasn’t worried about her leaving or me being replaced, but I was worried about her falling in love.  I know that B needs a strong connection with her play partners.  She needs them to not just be a person to have sex with.  She needs them to want her emotionally as well.  She wants someone that can talk to her, understand her needs and wants and then meet those needs and wants both outside and inside of the bedroom. 


Before we found Bear, I had this fear inside of me.  I know that B told me she wanted a Bull that was single.  I was having a hard time finding a guy in our area.  I had lots of guys contact us on SLS, but none of them were even close to her standards.  Then came along Bear.  I reached out to him, even though I knew he had a partner in his life.  He wasn’t single, but he was close and willing to at least meet with us.  In my mind, it could be a perfect situation for me. B could have a play partner that she knew she wouldn’t fall in love with.  She could have fun and they could get some of the emotional connection in as well. 

 

But to my surprise, I realized that B could fall in love with a play partner if the situation was right.  I now know that for B to really enjoy this lifestyle, she will need a partner that is there for her.  Not just in the bedroom, but someone who will want to talk with her on the phone.  Send texts messages throughout the day with and show his true desire for her.  B doesn’t just want great sex; she deserves a partner that cares for her as much as I care for her.  Someone who will work with me to help meet all her needs and wants in all areas.  If it were a boyfriend type of situation, I would encourage it for her.  I feel that she needs to be spoiled and treated like a queen. 


I’m always looking for that guy who will help me satisfy B.  In all areas that I have mentioned.  I know that we haven’t found that with Bear.  He fills off the bedroom side of things, but we all know that he will always meet the needs of his partner first.  That was clear for all of us in the start of this.  So, wish me luck as I continue to search through all of the guys.  I know that I can find that special guy and we can spoil B.

text.

11/6/22

Cuck Fears


The definition of Fear is:

 

fear (noun) · fears (plural noun)

  1. an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat:

fear (verb) · fearing (present participle)

  1. be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening:

 

 

We all have some type of fear in our lives. It can be from snakes, spiders, heights and many other rational fears we may have.  We may have a fear of the unknown, the what ifs or the fear of not having control of things in our lives.  This blog is going to discuss the idea of Cuck Fear and how this type of fear is very normal in the lifestyle. 

 

I put out a poll on Twitter and asked a simple question, what is your biggest fear when it comes to being a cuck.  I gave four options, which I know there are many more options out there.  The options were: Being outted, STI’s/pregnancy, Her falling in love and being replaced.  The answers to the poll question was very interesting and I am glad that a lot of people added comments to discuss their thinking when it comes to the fear that they have. 

 

B and I are actually very private people. Writing this blog and being active on social media is about as public we would like to be.  With that being said, I was just on the Bulls and Queens podcast hosted by Doc Chocolate.  I was on the show with my great lifestyle friends Hopeful Cuck and Aussie Cuck.  The show was released just this past week.  Even though I know that all three of us really prefer to have private lives, we felt that sharing our knowledge with others outweighed the risk of being outted. 

 

The first fear that many couples have in the lifestyle is definitely being outted to the world.  This fear can have many different levels of intensity.  From just a little bit of fear and the thought of who cares if they find us out.  Those couples usually don’t have public jobs which could be harmed if things are revealed.  The other extreme are couples that could lose everything if they are outted.  From losing family and friends or their jobs, the risk of being outted is always on their minds.  Media never helps with this at all when it comes to high profile public figures being outted.  They condemn them and say that they are weak.  While I think rare, there is also the fear of being blackmailed by someone who will out you if they don’t get what they want.  All of the fears that couples have from being outted are very valid.  But each couple knows what they are getting into as they progress into the lifestyle.

 

The next fear is catching an STI or an accidental pregnancy.  On my poll, this was coming in last place.  But people were kind enough to explain their logic when it comes to this fear.  The advice was focused on being tested before you play with anyone.  Then once you are playing, set rules on what will happen during playtime.  Will there be protection being used?  Will the female be on birth control of some kind?  Will there be required pull out or will he get to leave it in when he cums?  While some couples play with multiple partners at a time, they learn about each partner and trust is built.  Some couples may play with random people at parties, but they most always have dialogue before playing.  B and I plan to at least for now, play with only one partner at a time.  But the fear of catching an STI or unwanted pregnancy will always be on our minds.

 

The next poll option was Her falling in love with her bull.  This option took the early lead in voting and remained the top pick on Twitter.  There is always the fear that your partner will develop feelings for her bull.  Especially if it becomes a long-term relationship.  Feelings from both partners in long term relationships are bound to happen.  I feel that it is natural for that to occur and is actually healthy.  Aussie Cuck explained this very well on the Podcast.  He talked about how his wife Eve had developed feelings for her boyfriend.  The feelings have grown to the power of love.  Aussie said in very simple terms, if you have two children you love them both equally, but when a third child is born, you don’t divide your love.  You love each child the same.  When your partner starts to feel the feeling of love towards their partner doesn’t mean she loves you any less.  In my opinion, I would think that it means she loves you more than ever.  She trusts you to let her explore those feelings and you both know that you will stay together because your love is true.  I do understand the fear that may come with this though. 

 

Early in our figuring this lifestyle out, I had to struggle with the idea of B finding and falling in love with another.  Reading comments on Twitter and searching through articles, blogs and porn didn’t help make the fear any less real for me.  I actually went through a stage in which I questioned moving forward.  We talked about the idea of her falling in love with another person or having a boyfriend.  She told me that she wasn’t looking for this type of relationship as we move forward in the lifestyle.  By the two of us talking it out, my fear was gone.  To be honest, I feel that if we end up finding the right person, I feel that I would encourage her to explore those feelings. 

 

The last option on the poll was the fear of Being replaced.  My thought about putting this on the poll was that cucks may fear that they would not be needed in the relationship.  This could come in many different ways.  It could be from never having sex with their partner again.  It could be fear of losing their friend in their partner.  I mean that she may talk more to her bull then she does with you.  Being replaced could be tied in with your partner falling in love with her bull.  But I felt that this needed to be two different options. 

 

I talked a few blogs ago about how Cucks are not weak but are actually very strong.  Even with a cuck being strong, doesn’t mean that they may not still have fears in their lives.  I feel that it is natural to have these fears.  But these fears can be calmed by communication with your partner.  Having ways to deal with each of these fears can lessen them, but still acknowledging that they are still there is key.  Setting rules for how much of a social footprint you have in the lifestyle is something that should be discussed early and often.  Do you share pictures that show your face?  Do you create emails and messaging accounts that are very private?  Do you find bulls that are outside of your normal living area? 

 

I am glad that I created this poll as it started a very good discussion on Twitter.  It is very healthy to discuss our fears as men.  Take a little bit of time to talk with your partner if you do have fears in the lifestyle.  Find other like minded people to talk to that may help.  I am part of many different group chats on Twitter.  We talk about all things lifestyle related and I know it has helped me out.

 

 

Check out the poll results on my Twitter page and make sure to friend me @chastdub.  Connect with me if you want me to blog about something or just help answer any questions you may have.


Oct. 30, 2022

One of my favorite holidays is Halloween.

Oct. 16, 2022

This journey that we have been on started in February of 2021 and during that time we have learned so much about each other.

Sep. 25, 2022

So, I get this question asked a lot from readers of the blog.

Sep. 12, 2022

Things were really starting to heat up and I could see B had really let herself get into being with Bear.

Sep. 5, 2022

Well, it has been a few weeks since the hotel night with Bear and I am sure some of you may be wondering what the next steps are.

Aug. 21, 2022

B and I left our house with plenty of time to get to the hotel.

Aug. 8, 2022

So, not much has changed in the past few weeks since our real first date with Bear.

Jul. 17, 2022

This past week has been a really good week around here.

Jul. 4, 2022

So, this week has been an eventful one for sure.

Jun. 20, 2022

Here are some of the tips that I have for new and old cucks in the lifestyle.

Jun. 5, 2022

They say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

May. 15, 2022

So, as we begin to end one chapter in the journey with Mr.

May. 1, 2022

Week 2 updates on our journey.

Apr. 18, 2022

One thing in my life that I have learned in life is that patience always pays off.

Apr. 3, 2022

I as began to think about writing this blog post this week, my mind just wasn’t ready to put anything on paper.

Mar. 21, 2022

So, as I sit here thinking about writing this blog, one common theme kept coming to me.

Mar. 6, 2022

Why social norms are bad.

Feb. 21, 2022

So now as promised, I am finally to the stage we are in now with our marriage.

Feb. 14, 2022

In the beginning...

Feb. 14, 2022

The dating scene was something very new and foreign to me.

Feb. 14, 2022

The dating stage moved forward very quickly as we both seem to have found what we were looking for in a partner.

Oct. 23, 2022

There have many discussions lately about the idea that a cuckold is just a weak male in a relationship.

Oct. 9, 2022

In honor of the great month of October and all the things that happen during this month, I dedicate this blog post to Loctober.

Sep. 18, 2022

After every playdate, we have noticed that there is always some downtime in the lifestyle.

Sep. 12, 2022

This past week has been a stressful one for B and I to say the least.

Aug. 28, 2022

This week's blog will be a little bit different than the other ones.

Aug. 14, 2022

So, B has an expression she likes to use a lot.

Jul. 24, 2022

So, after last week's blog about our first real date with Bear, there really hasn't been a lot to add on this week.

Jul. 10, 2022

As I have said in the last post, we have started talking to Bear and M.

Jun. 27, 2022

Remember that the journey isn't always a sprint, things will take time.

Jun. 13, 2022

Bonus Blog

May. 30, 2022

First off, thank you all for being patient with us as we needed a week off from the blog.

May. 9, 2022

As I sit down with my leftover oriental and prepare to write this blog, so many things are going through my head.

Apr. 24, 2022

So, it has been one week since we started talking with our potential friend in the lifestyle.

Apr. 10, 2022

So, we are just returning from vacation and getting ready to head back to our normal lives.

Mar. 27, 2022

Finding the right guy isn't as easy as it sounds.

Mar. 13, 2022

This is probably one of the most important steps in my journey.

Feb. 27, 2022

The journey only grows with new found friends.

Feb. 18, 2022

So now is the time that real discovery is starting to happen.

Feb. 14, 2022

Well this stage of my life starts the get out and explore phase.

Feb. 14, 2022

The previous few years of having fun and getting to live my life and explore who I really am as a person, was such valuable experience.