Feb. 18, 2022

Getting the kinks out

So now is the time that real discovery is starting to happen. I will admit, once I set my mind on something, I usually go at it fast and hard. I want to learn and try everything to get what I want. This will come through learning, buying items and through a lot of communication with B. We decided that we will at least try things once and then go from there.

So, it was time to drop the vanilla sex life and take a journey on the kinkier side of things. But starting from zero and going to sixty was not going to be in our best interest. So, I started listening to podcast, why not learn from people who live the life. I found my first podcast which was Krystine's FLR. This was the real first mentioning in my mind of the female led relationship. It challenged what I had thought and what society tells us what to do and how to live. It fit right in with my mindset, the mindset of not being selfish anymore. But it also introduced a few other new ideas for us to try out.

We took the steps to get B to step up and led, but we quickly found out that a 100% FLR was not going to work. Her job was in management. She had to be a leader all day long. To direct people to get the job done. So, by the time she got home, she didn't want to be 100% in charge. So, we worked on the right balance of the FLR and normal vanilla style living. I stepped up in my duties around the house. I would make all breakfast, lunches and dinners for the family every day. There are some meals that she loves to make, so on those occasions, she would step in, but I was there with her in the kitchen. I would clean up after dinner, but she would help when she wanted to. I took over the daily house chores like laundry and general pick up. I worked to make her homelife less stressful than her work life.

The next thing that we found from listening to the podcast was this idea of male chastity. I hadn't really talked to her about this right away as it was still something I needed to learn more about, but like I said before, I rushed right in. I bought a cage, so I had something in hand to show her. The cage arrived and not really knowing what I was doing, I ordered one that was in length way to long. Girth and snug fit were great, but the cage was about 2 inches to long. But we had something to try out. I shared it with B and at first, she was indifferent. We still used it and slowly she started seeing the power in a locked-up cock. We quickly ordered a smaller one that could be worn in public and around the house. I feel that doing this step was huge in progress. It stepped up her power in the sexual side of our marriage. She found that this was the tool needed to stop me from masturbating. To avoid that selfish act, I was doing that was really hurting our sex life. We now have three cages, which two are the correct size. B doesn't make me lock up very much at this time, but she uses it as a punishment device. If I am not meeting her needs in anyway, it is a simple snap of the fingers and a go lock up. It is a reminder that her needs are not being met.

The next kink that we played around with was the BDSM style kinks. We played with tying up, spanking, blindfolding, CBT and all the degrees of each of those. Some failed miserably. B was not into giving our receiving spankings. It recalled some trauma as a youth, and we stopped that right away. Bondage was not a turn on for her at all. If she was tied up, she lost that power she was building up. She didn't want to put in the effort to tie me up, she didn't like to make plans for sex and build up the scene. But there were some hits in there as well. B found that CBT was something that she really liked.

CBT also known as cock and ball torture was exactly what B found she loved. Now she replaced torture with teasing. She wasn't wanting to hurt me or cause any damage. She just wanted to get my attention when she needed it. She would flick, grab, pull, push and do whatever she felt she wanted to do. Sometimes it was with me in chastity while other times, it was normal everyday times. During this time, she found an even stronger degree in this area. She found the love of urethra play. She loved having my cock in her hand as she placed a metal rod into the shaft. She loved it because she could see the pleasure I received in it, but she loved that in that moment, she had total control. What is a guy going to do with a rod stuck in his cock? We still play in this area, and I feel that the power she gains from this is just amazing.

The last piece of the puzzle was getting B to see her beauty and power. Hearing it from me is expected in life. That is what husbands do. They tell you how sexy you are, how good you look and how important they are. But B needed to see it from the people in the world around us. So, we played around and found a site that you can put up pictures for people to rate your body parts. We decided to share a few pictures of her body, her breasts and her vagina. She received so many positive comments and the acknowledgement that the world thought she was sexy started to set in. She started noticing people did check her out in the store and every day in the public world.

So now we are pushing our limits in our sex life, and it is spilling over into our normal lives as well. We are still exploring what we want to do next and how far we want to push this lifestyle. We have found that with our always improving communication there can be no end to what we want to do. We have found with just these steps in our relationship, we have made our lives better. We have moved the happiness meter upward. We have started to live the lives we enjoy. Ok I promise my next blog post will go into the cuckold steps we are taking.