So, as I sit here thinking about writing this blog, one common theme kept coming to me. It was the power of words. We all know words have power. Words can create so many different emotions within oneself. Words can lift you up, words can slam you back down. The power of words I’m going to talk about in this blog today, will be the power of words in my relationship with my wife.
My wife has always been one to be the last to speak in nearly all conversations and situations. She would rather sit back and read the room. She rarely will look to confront someone, even if she knows that they are wrong. She just doesn’t see the point of wasting her energy. But when she does speak up, what she has to say is going to be powerful and important. She picks her battles wisely and that is how we lived most of our married lives together.
For the first 12 years of marriage, she did the good wife thing. You know those things that the social norms tell her to do. Be a good wife, listen to your husband, support your husband, raise your kids, and keep your thoughts and ideas to yourself. Basically stay in the background and just do your job. Now there were many times she would need to speak up loudly so that I would hear her. But it wasn’t that often and after this journey of the past year, I found out that she did pick her battles with me, but she sees that she should have picked more.
So going into year 13 of our marriage and starting this new journey in our lives, we quickly discovered that the two of us need to communicate. We can’t pick our battles and stay quiet when we are not happy. We need to talk with each other. We didn’t need to fight, scream or yell at each other. We had to talk clearly, say what we are feeling and then give each other a chance to respond. Trust me, this was a process for both of us. I had a habit of hearing, but not listening. She had a habit of speaking, but not really saying her true intentions. So we knew we needed to speak to each other in a way that our words had power and meaning.
Over the summer we would go for long walks in the evening, just the two of us. We would just start walking and talking. It didn’t matter what the topics were. Many times they were about something I was interested in and she had no interest in (politics). It didn’t take long for her to really find her voice when it came to those talks. She clearly and with some power stated no more political talks. So, that ended those talks quickly. But it was a good thing, she found her voice and that she could say I don’t want to hear about it.
So, those talks slowly evolved into lifestyle talks as we walked each night. I would listen to a podcast and report back what amazing new thing I had heard. We were both learning together at this time, I am not really even sure if we had found the word cuckold, hotwife or stag/vixen. We were starting to get into the idea of the FLR lifestyle. But again, I was doing a lot of the talking and she kind of was just going along for the educational ride. She was ok with this though, as she hates listening to podcasts. She told me to just give her the Cliffs Notes version of each one. Things were starting to really click now.
As fall started to get closer and school, sports and jobs began to take over our already busy lives, we had to find new ways to communicate. We made it extremely important to keep talking. To keep connecting on all levels. So we made sure that on her car ride home from work each night, we would talk for the entire 30 minute drive. We knew that that wasn’t enough though. We needed more time to connect each night. So, we put ten to thirty minutes each night if possible to just be alone with each other. To communicate with each other in all the ways we could. To touch, to kiss, massage and of course talk. Our words that we spoke to each other were now even more powerful. They had so much meaning behind them. We were now ready to be fully open with each other.
We were progressing faster into this new lifestyle and discussing so many new ideas. New podcasts were found, new ideas were shared and a new avenue for discussion was started. We played with the FLR lifestyle still and she picked what she wanted to keep and tabled the rest for later. Now we were entering into the cuckold lifestyle talk. Our eyes and ears were now wide open. We both took things in like a sponge. We discussed what we liked, what we didn’t like, we made rules, we changed rules and we started to really discovery our fantasies.
My wife slowly found her voice when it comes to fantasy talk. She was never one to share what she really wanted. She had just accepted being content with what she had when it comes to sex. She didn’t say I want you to do this to me or I want to do this to you. But as time went by, she started to see that if she used her words, things would only get better. Our sex life has only improved through the power of her words and the power of my words to her.
So, now we are deep into this journey and we really don’t know where it will be heading, but the place we are in right now is really amazing. B has found that she does have an inner slut, fantasies and desires. In the past, dirty talk wasn’t a thing for her. Now those words flow right out of her during playtime. The power of her words, can bring me to the edge of orgasm and if she wants, to an orgasm. She is finding that her words are also showing power in her own body. The high that she finds from getting both her body and mind into the playtime is just astonishing her.
The power of her words have just brought us closer together in this journey. I feel that as we break away from social norms, we needed to incorporate the power of our words. Not just the communication piece of words, but the true desires and wants. We are at a point in which we have no fear of sharing what we want. We know we will not judge each other, we will not hesitate to open up. I am a very happy husband as my wife discovers herself through many forms and especially with her power of saying what she wants.