Mar. 27, 2022
Even though my wife and I are not to the playing stages of our marriage, we have started to do a little more baby stepping. We have put ourselves out there on Fetlife (totaldub22), Twitter (chastdub or dubcouple) and on a couple of dating sites. Which on some of those sites, you know that they aren't even reading the profile introduction. The thing that we seem to find in the people who reach out to us are that they are either flakes or snakes.
So, to begin with, let's talk about the flakes. Flakes are the guys who instantly hit us up. They come in with what I am guessing is a copy and paste type of introduction. They say how sexy your pics are and give you lots of compliments. We then go to look at their profile and they either have very little information about themselves in any form or all they have is meme pictures. Ok, so it is fine to leave somethings private, especially in this lifestyle, but at least try to prove you are who you say you are. If they have tried to write an introduction that seems they have put a little work into it, we might write them back.
After the initial contacts have been made, we get another generic response or two. So, now is when we start to really dig in and want to know if you are real or not. We start asking them questions about how long you have been in the lifestyle, what do you feel your role is, how do you interact with both partners and most importantly we ask what does it mean to be part of a cuckolding relationship? This is the exact moment that they flake. Poof, like they never existed. I am sure that they were either trying to get an easy lay or that they used the conversation for masturbation purposes. But either way, they are gone, and we are starting the process all over again.
Now enter the snakes. These guys first come out strong, with what again seems to be a copy and paste message to us. But they don't stop with just saying hello. They go into all the details about what they will do with my wife. What they will have me do, while they are fucking my wife. They don't leave much to the imagination. Usually, the message is followed up almost immediately, even if we don't respond with a dick pic. You can tell that these guys have a one-track mind and all they want is an easy lay, with little to now work.
These are the guys that have no purpose in our lives. We don't respond to them at all, yet they still try to contact us over and over again. I see it as them throwing as many lines as possible in the water and just trying to catch whatever they can. It must work for them at times. Otherwise, they would change their tactics. I mean, we even had one guy say how he just loves to spend his money on women and wants to be her sugar daddy. So, we said, please go to this site and support us with a buymeacoffee. Instantly ghosted as we knew would be the case.
Now, sometimes we do get a message chain going back and forth. We start to put in a little effort in, cautiously though at first. We don't want to get our hopes up. But before you know it and way before they know us and what we are looking for, they try to exert their alpha male status. They start telling us what they want. It might be send me pics, snap chat me or it might be just trying to control what we do. They might go into detail about what they are going to do to my wife. Sometimes they go into very graphic detail. Even though we always start out telling them we are new to all of this and taking things slow. It doesn't phase them, not sure if they even read any of it. Alpha brain just says be dominant and they will do whatever you have to say. Well, it might work out in the end, if they just took sometime to know what we want out of all of this.
So, now as we are learning more and more about the men out there, it is much easier to tell who is a flake and who is a snake. We look for those red flags in their accounts. Limited information about them, no pics or maybe just a dick pic. The obvious copy and paste type of messages that we get on the first contact. The guys who feel that they must come out as an alpha male. The guys who you can tell are not really reading what you have to say, but are sticking to their tried and true script.
It is getting easier to see the red flags and the flakes and snakes as we progress forward in all of this. But it still takes a toll on both of us. We are really looking for a person to join into our lives. Not a wham, bam, thank you mam kind of thing. We are looking for a friends with benefits kind of person. Someone who understands that we are busy people and playtime may not be as often as they like. But they are willing to work with us. I know that we will find someone in time, so we will not give up because of the flakes and snakes that we encounter. We know that when we do find that real guy to join us, it will only make it a true connection.