May. 15, 2022
Reassurance
So, as we begin to end one chapter in the journey with Mr. O, we both needed some time to reassess and reassure each other. Stopping the conversation with Mr. O has been a small challenge. I stopped talking with him right away, but really the conversations I had with him were pretty much not a thing. B on the other hand, she is having a harder time stopping the contact. They did build a relationship on some level and the NRE(new relationship energy) was pretty high. Even with her conversations with him being less and less, he still would reach out to her and she would text back. I am sure in time, it will end.
So taking the next step, I then turned to a couple of dating sites to start the search for the next possible play partner. We got a lot of hits right away, but many were flat out duds. But we did get a couple of decent guys who B found attractive. So, I started the vetting process again, taking my lessons that I have learned and got to work. B has me still doing all the vetting. I found one guy, we can call him Cowboy, that lives fairly close and has a good concept of the lifestyle. He passed the initial vetting process and B and him are now talking. Well, kind of. Mr. O was a constant texter. He was always sending her something. Cowboy is a very busy guy and so the level of communication isn't quite there yet. When they do message each other, there is good dialogue going on, but it is very infrequent. So, this is something that does concern B. But Cowboy does want to meet sooner rather than later.
So, going from a keyboard warrior to an in person meet and greet is a major step for B. Is this a step that she is ready for? She is really worried that if we all do meet, then it is going to be really awkward because their current conversations aren't much. Is it normal to meet so quickly? Again, we are entering uncharted waters. So, we needed to step back together and talk.
I heard her feelings and thoughts on all of this. We see that we have two extremes in our guys. One that was always messaging her and making her feel special. The other is a guy that is busy with life but is interested in us. One that there was a connection to and the other there will need to be a connection built. She wonders if she has the time and energy to start over again. She really wants to find a guy somewhere in the middle. A guy that messages both of us but doesn't demand so much time from us. A guy that will respond quickly to her is she asks a question. Is the perfect guy really out there?
So, I had to reassure her that everything is ok. I let her know that even though this was my idea in the beginning and that she does enjoy the attention, if we needed to stop all of this we would. That I don't want to put her in any situations that she doesn't want to be in. I will support her no matter what she decides. We are in this together. I love her and she loves me. We loved each other before we started this journey, and we will love each for the rest of our lives. Lifestyle or not.
So, where are we going now? We are still talking with Cowboy. We will feel this one out a little bit more. There has been a new guy joining the picture though. I am still vetting him. He is really responsive to every time I message him. She finds him attractive. So, maybe this is a guy that fits right in the middle. Only time will tell and maybe next week we will have more to share with all of you.
Final thoughts, always remember to move at the slowest person's pace. Always communicate your thoughts. Be supportive of each other and don't judge when one person shares something that you don't want to hear. They are being honest with you. If you need to take a minute, then do it. Don't bring anger into a conversation. It will not lead to good things. Until next week, be safe, hug and kiss each other and just be a good person.
