Sep. 25, 2022

Downtime

So, I get this question asked a lot from readers of the blog. They ask how often do you two get to play, how many lifestyle events do you go to and how what is coming next for the two of us. Well, I will do my best to answer those questions and give a little bit more insight into our lives.

First, I want to say, we never compare ourselves and our journey to any other couple. Every path on this journey is very different and very special. In our early looking into the lifestyle, we saw so many veteran couples out there. They seemed to be doing lifestyle things multiple times a week. Our going to huge parties. I knew right away that my wife and I were not going to be living that life. Well, at least not right from the start. We knew we were going to keep things nice and slow, but steady. We had to find our path and live it to our true selves.

So, as you have followed along on our journey, you have seen that we have been true to ourselves and the path we wanted to take. We took babysteps at times and at others, we just ripped off the band aid. We made sure, even though we saw other's stories and adventures unfold on Twitter and Mon app chats, we didn't try to be them. We did talk about what they did and what we saw them doing, discussed if that sounded interesting to us or not.

But for us, a lot of the lifestyle is really in the downtime. We have found the the times in between play dates and lifestyle related things, are really the most important times for us. These are the times that we just find ourselves connecting on an even deeper level. We bring most of the lifestyle talk to a very small percentage. We really ramp up the vanilla side of things during the downtime. We talk about our family mostly. With kids in school, sports and the two of us working, we still need to take a moment to ground ourselves in what always matters the most.

We both knew that we had one thing to work on in our own lives. This was how we let stress control us. B has always been a person that lets the stress of life get to her. We had to work with different ways to ease her stress. From me stepping up my game in the pampering department, to me helping out even more around the house. We knew that building time in for each other was really the best way to get rid of our stress. We try to walk with each other almost every night. Now I will not lie, a lot of those walks do end up in what are we doing next in the lifestyle. So, I do look forward to those walks.

But in all honesty, we will never be a couple that has multiple play partners. We will not be the couple that goes all over to lifestyle parties and things like that. We will be true to ourselves. We may one day get there, but it's going to be one day at a time. We love where the lifestyle has taken us so far. Both of us agree that we wouldn't change a thing. Besides B getting a little extra pleasure in her life, we have rekindled that fire in our marriage. We have stepped outside the social norms and love where we are.

So, what is next? We still have Bear in our lives. B and Bear are always communicating in one way or another. B still does her daily tasks for him. We have not set a playdate for the future just yet. But I am sure that is coming in the next week or so. We both wonder how Bear is going to go beyond what he did last time. It's fun to think about, will he include more bdsm besides the spankings? Will he be even more dominate and make her serve him and his needs? Time will tell.

We do wonder as we look even further down the road, what will it bring? We do always have a group of guys reaching out to us and want to get to know us. Some I do some soft vetting and others really don't pay attention to what we are looking for. We haven't made any plans with partners beyond Bear. The great thing is that we are not against doing more in the future. I share a lot of my fantasies with her. Some are a little too much right now, but then we find where the middle ground is. She shares what she would like as well.

So, to wrap this up. Don't true to copy any other couples in the lifestyle. Stay true to your own path in this journey. Know that it is ok for the journey to have downtime. Use this downtime to have a no pressure relationship. Keep communication the key. Put all the other things in life, like kids and work back into perspective during this time. Those things can disappear for a while when you are playing. But you can never forget that they are there. Keep focusing on being your true selves. Love each other, share with each other and just enjoy the downtime that you get to spend with each other.