Oct. 23, 2022
There have many discussions lately about the idea that a cuckold is just a weak male in a relationship. He is unable to satisfy his partner for one or more of many reasons. They may not be able to get or sustain an erection, they may have a very small or undersized penis, they may not have stamina, or they may not have the sexual skills to fully please their partner. So, not being able to fully fulfill their partner, they are looked at as less of a man. Something to be looked down upon when it comes to masculinity.
Where do these ideas that a cuckold is weak really come from? First, let me remind you that B and I stumbled upon this lifestyle. Neither of us had ever heard of the idea of cuckolding. We thought that a married couple only has sex with each other. Otherwise, it would be cheating. But after we discovered the idea of cuckolding and hotwifing, we started to look into what it really means. Of course, the first place I went to was pornhub and xnxx to see videos and get visuals of the lifestyle. There were so many different types of porn covering the lifestyle, it was hard to really see a clear picture.
The first style of cuckold porn was probably the worst to watch. They all had the same theme, a skinny nerdy guy or an overweight guy who seems to walk in on his wife having sex. Usually, the guy having sex with the wife is ripped and well hung. He is pounding the wife as the husband just stands there in shock. The wife usually then says some form of humiliation to the husband and continues to get pounded. The husband then either sits with his hands on his head and pouts, but then he starts to get excited as what he is seeing. Usually, the scene ends with the money shot as the stud cums in the wife or all over her. The wife then directs the husband to come and clean her up.
This style is designed to sell videos and get people to watch. It hits on a lot of the different kinks that the lifestyle can have for couples. It brings in the idea that the husband wasn't good enough to please his wife. It brings in the hot stud who just makes the wife so sexually excited. They throw in the humiliation factor that many men want at least to some level in their relationship. It then ends with the husband cleaning up his wife with a look of disgust and embarrassment. But it does capture the idea that the husband did enjoy watching her get pleased from this stranger. In these examples, there is a level of cuckolding, but it borders on the cheating wife as the husband was not aware of her extra activities in the bedroom.
The next style of porn I discovered was when I switched to more motivational porn. I would search something like cuckold encouragement or hotwife encouragement. This was usually a series of clips running in the background while positive messages scrolled along the bottom. The clips seemed to be on the amateur side of things. These helped to show a positive side to the lifestyle, but overall were hard to find.
Feeding off of the motivational videos, I found there to be a decent amount of amateur cuckold videos. Being homemade videos, the quality was of course what you would expect. These really didn't show the husband in a positive or negative light. But it focused on the wife and her pleasure. Rarely would I find one that showed the humiliation of the wife to the husband.
The most common videos that I found that crossed over all the types mentioned above all had one thing in common. Many videos would show a very beautiful wife, not the everyday wife by any means. It was the huge breasted female with the tight little body. Then comes in this hot ripped black guy. The husband is in shock as the stranger walks in, but the wife then drops to her knees and undoes his pants to reveal the biggest cock you have ever seen. Then the sex happens as the husband just sits there unable to show his power in the situation.
In many of these videos, the husband is shown as this weak and pathetic male. He is unable to please his wife, so she finds another to do it for him. They don't show the communication and love of the couple. It all borders on the cheating wife and the awkwardly horny husband who doesn't understand why he is excited about any of this. They add the humiliation into the scene and have the husband do tasks like clean up, fluffing or used in other sexual ways. In all of these videos, the male has no power at all. Some show him getting angry but knowing I can't stop what I am seeing.
Besides videos and clips, there are thousands, if not millions at this point of memes that show how weak a cuckold must be to live this lifestyle. I have a page on the site that shows positive memes that show love and trust. Check them out if you haven't. But all of the memes you see on Twitter and other forums just focus on men as weak and submissive. That they have no power and no say in what is going on. Some even push the idea that a cuckold is or has to be gay to secretly want this lifestyle.
Now here comes my opinion on all of this. I think all of the above have a place in the lifestyle. They make each of those types of videos and memes for a reason. But buyer beware. They don't show from what I have experienced and the friends I have made in the lifestyle what it is really like. In my own experience, I don't see myself as weak. My wife doesn't look at me as a weak person. We have a marriage that is based on trust and love. We have found during this journey how to communicate on levels that I never knew existed. We honestly spent 14 years talking to each other, but never really listened to each other. We found that once we took the first steps in the lifestyle, we needed to put even more trust into each other and really listen to understand what each of us wanted. It was then that we really realized we were not living for our happiness but living to follow the social norms of life. We discovered that we weren't really happy.
Before we even started this journey, I thought I was a pretty good husband. With my job, I get home first most days. That gave me time to do some pick up around the house, start some laundry and get dinner cooked. I did this because I liked to do it, not because I was expected to. I also did this because I knew that having these things done before she got home, would make her life a little less stressful. But looking back at it all now, I was also being selfishly motivated in doing those things. In my head, I was thinking, if she didn't have to stress out about doing these tasks, she would be more likely to have sex with me. But after our journey started, I realized that being selfish in my thinking wasn't ever going to make things better for either of us. So, I continued to do the tasks but without expectations of sex. Once I changed my mindset, then B was able to be her true self and things came together more naturally for us.
So, does a husband who is wanting to please his wife in daily life make him weak? Hell, no is my answer. It makes him even stronger to think about her needs over his desires. It puts her above everything else. You will not see these in those videos and memes. You will not see that a husband wanting his wife to have her best life in any way possible is represented in media, especially when it comes to the bedroom.
Men as a whole are usually put into one large bucket. We are told that we need to relearn how we think, how we act and especially how we deal with females. Many men are tainted by the bad ones. The good guys never get talked about. Looking back at the early years of life, what type of guy did most women go after? It was the good guy that would provide everything she asked for, it was the bad boys. So, are men conflicted when it comes to all of this, of course we are. We want to be the good guy, we want to care for our partners and love them unconditionally, but men then get looked over time and time again as the bad boy keeps winning. Do some men need to do better? Of course, they do.
Being a husband that loves his wife and puts all her needs above his own is not weak. It is probably the most powerful thing a person can do. Giving your power and control over to someone else and trusting that they will have your best interest in mind, is powerful. If you enter into an FLR, Cuckold, Hotwife, Stag/Vixen or any other variation of the lifestyle, you need to be a strong and powerful partner.
A husband can't go into this lifestyle if he is weak. Both partners need to be strong in so many ways. The husband needs to be honest with himself. To know if this is a lifestyle or a kink.
He must know that his needs and wants will be on her mind, but they will be second to her needs and wants. He must be able to communicate open and honestly. He needs to be able to take the information she gives to him and process it without judgement. He needs to take time to self-reflect and give his partner the same time and space. When he can do all of these things successfully, then he will know his true power in the lifestyle.
From all the men in the lifestyle that I know, from my Twitter group, the Cucky Corner to individuals I have met along the way, I would say that the ones who have mastered the art of putting his partner first are strong. They are the good guys that in the past were overlooked for the bad boy. But they never gave up, they always wanted to put their partner first, but just had to find the right partner. These men, like Hopefulcuck, AussieCuck, and Poor Little White Boy have dedicated their lives to making their partners feel empowered. They gave their power to them. With no expectations of getting anything in return. They only want their partners to be happy.
So, to wrap this up. Are cuckolds weak? I don't think that they are. I think the media, porn sites and memes want us to believe that we are weak. I believe that a true cuckold in a cuckold relationship has to be powerful, but in so many other ways. They have to be able to self-reflect, have great communication skills and the ability to put their partner above everything else. They need to always be fighting against the porn, memes and some podcasts that will show to make us look weak. So, to all my fellow cucks out there, keep fighting the good fight and remember to always put your partner above everything else.